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Monday, July 18, 2011

Knee Surgery With My Mom

So, I know.... You are thinking, yea right; another excuse for not writing.... (I think my high school English teacher, Mrs. Stephens, just got proverbial heartburn over the way I constructed the last sentence.)

Life has taken off which forced me to go out and experience rather than write. Now, routine is settling back in (and by the way that doesn't mean any room for dull moments).... But I am making time to write nonetheless....

I just had a special and precious couple of weeks with my Mom. Now mind you, it took her going through very painful knee surgery, being attached to two machines and then needing to remain horizontal most of the time. Did I mention lots of medication were also involved? Seriously, I hated seeing her go through a rough time (albeit with fantastic results as all of her caregivers report). and yet, on the other hand I loved the fact that I had to be in constant contact with her for two full weeks; both to take care of her and to just be with her and support her.

I can't explain what it's like to have a chance to give back to a parent. I've always had a very heavy feeling of guilt that I could never do anything enough to thank them or make all of their giving up to them. I was raised in a household which stressed manners. I was raised to say thank you and to do it not only verbally, but also documented and sent via snail mail. So, if you believe that those things add a special way of saying, "I'm really appreciative and I realize you took out effort to do something for me" then you have a hard time not being able to ever do "enough" to thank your parents. Despite whatever mistakes they made, we are so very lucky to have all of those moments that we will never forget. These were the times they melted us. I couldn't explain to my Mom how grateful I was and that I really did want her to stop apologizing for taking my time and thanking me for all that I was doing to try and help. Instead, I just kept saying things like, "How many meals have you made for me in my lifetime? This is nothing!" I felt like it wasn't enough, but I also felt so good to have the chance to do it. I have complete and total respect for the children who give back to their parents full time. There is no greater or harder job.